Disappointment is a way of life for direct sellers. You walk into a home party or a sponsoring interview with great hopes and expectations, do your absolute best, and sometimes (many times), the outcome isn't what you thought it would be. That's the reason I've learned to be committed but not attached in my business, especially in the past few years. I'm 100% committed to delivering the greatest possible value in every interaction I have, and to making sure my clients and customers have as much information as they need to make a decision about working with me or making a purchase from me. That's something I can always control. And I'm 100% not attached to their decision, because that's something I absolutely can't control.

This is a concept I learned from one of my mentors last year, and it's come home to me in a huge way this week. Let me share. I've done literally dozens of free strategy sessions for my Direct Sales Virtual Academy in the past week. I made the commitment when I launched the academy at the beginning of this year (and again when I re-launched Semester 2 last week) that the exact perfect students would be drawn to the opportunity and that those who were supposed to work with me would. And I also agreed to bless and release everyone who made the decision to pass on the academy. As I offered these free session (something I've never done before), I expected that a large percentage of them wouldn't be willing (or financially able) to enroll in the Academy. I decided to show up 100% on every call with no attachment to the outcome.

So, in the midst of my week of these phone calls yesterday, something really interesting happened to me.

I apparently applied online for something called the National Association of Professional Women (although to be honest, I don't remember doing this or when I did it. I took their word for it). They contacted me last week and asked to "interview me to complete my application." I was busy at the time but wrote down the number and promised to call back. I did that, left a message, and yesterday at 6:00 am (I'm not kidding), a woman named Stacey called me. I shared that she had called at 6:00 am Pacific. Without even apologizing for calling at such an ungodly hour, she proceeded to "interview" me with a series of questions about my business.

It became apparent to me quickly that Stacey wasn't really interested in (or even listening to) my responses. I started to get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach (you know the one, when you feel like someone's about to try to talk you into buying something you don't really want). Sure enough, about 5 minutes into the "interview," she began to pitch all the benefits of their expensive platinum membership to me. I listened politely and when she asked how I'd like to pay for my brand new membership (without even asking if I was interested in actually buying it), I told her I would consider it and call her back.

Then the fun began. Obviously working from a script, Stacey started to employing every trick I've ever learned about sales to leverage me to join her program. She offered lower priced membership options, reiterated again and again the many benefits I couldn't afford not to take advantage of, and generally refused to take no for an answer. The one thing she didn't do was consider, even for a moment, what I wanted. I told her clearly I wasn't going to make a decision over the phone but would be happy to do some research and let her know. That still wasn't enough. I finally ended up telling her I hated to be rude but I was hanging up now. And that's what I did.

Here's the thing. I walked into my kitchen after I hung up and said out loud to myself (I actually talk out loud to myself a lot. Don't tell anyone), "I would NEVER consider being a part of an organization that employs those tactics to get members to enroll. EVER!" The contrast between my experience with Stacey and the experience I know I've been having with my own strategy sessions was glaring. And it made me glad that I have the philosophy I do about "sales" within my company.

That being that I'm committed but not attached. It's been such an incredible experience coming from that perspective and it's renewed my commitment to the concepts I teach around our industry and a new way of working your direct sales business. The old ways of leveraging people to do something they may or may not want to do don't work any more. I know that for a fact and experienced it first hand yesterday morning.

So what about you? Are you attached to the outcome with your customers, hosts, and representatives? What if you let go of that and became committed instead to what's best for them?

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Julie Anne Jones is direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read her weekly blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.