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A Very Personal Post

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

(Please Note: If you are subscribed to this blog feed and receive my posts via e-mail, you are receiving this post in your in box. This is a copy of an e-mail I sent on May 1st to my e-mail list. If you are also on that list, you may have received it then as well. This IS NOT a resend of that e-mail. My blog feed is a completely separate list).

This post has nothing to do with your direct sales business. It's a personal note from me that's been ten years in the making. The short story is that ten years ago, my marriage of thirteen years ended in divorce. I had two small sons, and their dad David and I were determined to do whatever we possibly could to minimize the negative effects of our break up on them.

Over the course of the past ten years, we've worked together to do just that. Our boys are now teenagers and well adjusted, really amazing young men. And David and I have walked side by side and co-parented them every step of the way. We're both re-married to very supportive spouses now and we talk almost every day about the health and well being of our sons. I cannot imagine parenting these boys without their dad and I say a prayer of gratitude every day for my relationship with him. We've had our struggles and there have been lots of times when we haven't necessarily agreed. But we've always looked at every conflict through the lens of what's best for our kids.

Last year, we decided it was time to share our story and our perspective and passion for the topic of parenting your children after divorce. We began creating a website called "The Undivided Divorce." The project has been sitting on the back burner for the past year as we've both led busy lives and neither has taken the time to launch it. A few weeks ago my good friend Dana Wilde called me and invited me to participate in her brand new free teleseries, "Enjoying The Ride". It was just the motivation we needed to finally share what we've built with the world.

David and I will be interviewed together on a call with Dana next Tuesday, May 22nd at 9:00 am. Our topic is "Divorce as A Beginning" and we'll be sharing 5 steps to defining a new family as you go through (or after) a divorce. You can learn all about this series, watch Dana's video, and sign up here…

http://www.readyformore.com/ride/julie/invite/

 

If you read this blog regularly, you're probably a woman (about 98% of my readers are), quite possibly a mom (and/or grandma, aunt, God Mother, etc.), and either are or know someone who has kids and is divorced or divorcing. Sadly, I've honestly never met anyone who hasn't been touched by divorce on some level. And most of the time, when there's a divorce, there are children stuck right smack dab in the middle. Divorce is tragic and an unfortunate epidemic in our society.

By creating this website, David and I are in no way advocating divorce. We're just facing the sad reality that divorce happens and hoping to change the world in a small but important way with our own story. The only thing that makes us experts is our own experience and the tools we've developed and used over the past decade to keep our relationship strong for the sake of our kids. While we hope you don't need this information yourself, it's quite possible you know someone who is dealing with this issue. Please do us (and them) a favor and share this blog post and/or the link to the website to them. It's http://theundivideddivorce.com.

Right now, it's a purely informational website. There's nothing for sale there, just lots of supportive, real and honest information. In fact, I've written a very informative free report you can download called, "Working Through The 5 Stages of Divorce Grief With Your Children." David and I are also both blogging fairly regularly, and there's a really wonderful resource page I've created packed with great information for divorced or divorcing parents.

I love working with direct sellers and I'm still passionate about my work as a direct sales trainer and speaker. But this project, which David and I have talked about for the past five years or so, is truly where my heart lies. I believe that if we can get the word out about this topic we can impact divorcing couples and, more importantly, their children, in a big way.

Will you help us spread the word by sharing this post on your Facebook and Google+ pages and through Twitter? I'd really appreciate that (and thanks in advance). And if you want to join us for our interview with Dana, I'd love that. It's a whole new world for me being interviewed along side my ex-husband, so knowing lots of you are out there listening will make me feel much more at ease. You can sign up for the call at http://www.ReadyForMore.com/Julie/invite. I can't wait to share this whole new message with the world!



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN PRINT OR ONLINE?

You may, as long as you do not alter it and include the following information (with active links as appropriate)

Julie Anne Jones is a direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific systems, language, and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read her weekly blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.


 

 

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Categories : Children, Life Balance, Main

Video Blog: Working Your Direct Sales Business As a Mom

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

As a mom who works from home, you face special challenges. Here are some ideas for managing both your role as a mom and your role as a direct sales/home party plan professional.

Can't see the video? Click here.

Success, Sanity, and Direct Selling In The Summer Time

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

I was visiting with a business associate and friend of mine last week who's a single dad. He doesn't generally spend more than weekends with his son, and now his son is with him for most of the Summer. He was telling me how much everything changes in your life when a kid is around all the time. They've got all these needs, they mess with your schedule, all kinds of stuff.

I just smiled. Ummm, yea, as a single mom now for going on 11 years, I think I can sort of relate to that.

It made me think about that song from the Broadway Musical Porgy and Bess, "Summertime and the livin' is easy…" Well, maybe if you're a kid. If you're a work-at-home entrepreneur (especially if you're a mom), livin' probably just got a whole lot harder for you. Especially if your kids are school age, you know as well as I do that you probably dread summer as much as your kids look forward to it (some days, anyhow).

So, here is my annual "How to survive summer as a mom who works from home without losing your sanity or screaming at your kids (too much)" post. Ready?

My top 5 Tips for Getting to September with Your Business In-Tact and Your Kids Still Loving You

1. Let Go of The Guilt

You will never get to spend as much time as you would like with your kids during the summer, and many people allow themselves to feel guilty about this. Wait a second here. If you had to work at a full time J-O-B, would you be able to just take three months off to be with your kids in the summer? Heck no. So think about the fact that, even though you might not be spending every waking hour with your precious littles, at least you're there when they need you and you have the flexibility being self-employed brings.

2. You'll Need to Modify Your Schedule

Your "normal" school-year schedule probably won't work in the summer and you'll have to modify it. That's just a fact. You won't be able to work as many hours (at least not during the day), and you'll probably have to get creative. If you generally make calls in the afternoon and your children head to swimming lessons without you in the mornings, you'll want to reschedule your calls for the times you know you'll have peace and quite during the day. I knew exactly when Blues Clues was on when my boys were little, because I could be guaranteed 30 minutes of quiet during that show. You get the idea.

So just plan on being more flexible regarding when you work and realize that things may need to change on a moment's notice. Believe me, as someone who coaches direct sellers for a living, I always completely understand if a client asks to reschedule at the last minute if it's kid related. I work with moms. It happens.

3. Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

You probably won't be able to work as many hours during the summer, so making the time you do spend in your office as productive as possible is essential. Make a plan at least once a week (if not every day) and decide ahead of time what your priorities are and what will get your time. If you get all of the big projects or commitments out of the way, you can always focus on the leftovers. But I've found if I don't have a plan, I start with the small stuff and then the big projects don't get done.

Likewise, make sure you're present when you're spending time with your kids. You can't be constantly interrupting your time with them to answer your cell phone or check e-mail. Trust me, they hate that and they'll resent it (and you.) Unplug and really give them your attention when you're spending time with them.

4. Make Your Work Time Play Time For Your Kids

Imagine how cool it would be if your kids actually looked forward to you going into your office to work. Here are a few simple ways to possibly encourage that feeling in them:

  • Find ways for your kids to get involved in your business (putting stickers on catalogs, putting together host packets, etc.) and reward them for their participation.
  • Have a special box of toys that they are only allowed to play with when you're working. This one is great. They'll actually be begging you to work!

I'm sure there are more creative ideas. These are just a few I used when my kids were little.

5. Create Accountability for Yourself

Print out your schedule and hang it in a community place in your home, like your refrigerator. Now gather your family around and let them know that this is your schedule, and that you're as committed to NOT working during the times not listed as you are to working during the times outlined for work. Then, if you're really brave, ask your kids to hold you accountable by giving them permission to ask you to stop working if you're in your office during a time that's not on your calendar as office hours. Believe me, kids LOVE to catch you doing something you're not supposed to be doing and they'll definitely call you on it, especially if you ask them to.

Finally, if something comes up that you need to do during the time you've scheduled to work for that day, be sure to go to your calendar right away and "pay yourself back" the time you're borrowing from yourself. If you don't, the work activity you've scheduled for that day won't get done and you'll find yourself getting behind.

One last thing…

it's perfectly okay (and even normal) for you to do the Snoopy dance on the first day of school. By the end of August, you'll be VERY ready for your kids to get back to school! That doesn't make you a bad mom. It just makes you honest. Embrace it and remind yourself that the summer will fly by and that first day of school will be here before you know it. Depending upon what sort of day you're having that will either be cause for celebration (as you tell your kids for the 15th time to PLEASE TURN DOWN THE TV), or one that brings a little tear to your eye (as you watch the wonder on your child's face as he meets Mickey Mouse for the first time or you hold your daughter who's fallen asleep in your arms under the stars at an outdoor concert).

Summer is short. That's the good and bad of it. So make the most of it, both as a parent and as a work-from-home business owner.

P.S. As I wrote this post, it kept dawning on me that I no longer have to worry about much of this. My oldest son Sam is now 16 and driving, and he has a girlfriend with whom he would spend all of his time if I'd let him. His little brother Eli is 13 and has a long board and lots of friends. They're really independent, have cell phones, and we live in a pretty small, safe town, so I'm anticipating that I'll be asking them when they'll be home so we can spend some time together this summer, instead of them wanting me to stop working to do the same for them. Just a little bit of a "sigh" moment for me. If you do have little ones, enjoy them. Mine were that age about 10 minutes ago, I swear.



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN PRINT OR ONLINE?
You may, as long as you do not alter it and include the following information (with active links as appropriate):

Julie Anne Jones is direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read her weekly blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.