“Just be yourself!” Has anyone ever said that to you? I heard it all the time when I was a kid, followed by assurances from my mother that everyone would like me if I could (just be myself). And you know what? She was right! What I’m told over and over again in my travels as a trainer and as I interact through social media is that people love my authenticity. I “show up” as who I am, whether I’m on stage or off. I’m honest about my faults as often as I am about my strengths. And I’ve found that people feel like they know me and can communicate with me because of it.
The other thing I consciously do which I believe assures people of my authenticity is so simple it’s almost crazy. I ask questions and, more importantly, I listen. That’s it.
One of the keys to authenticity is realizing that, sometimes (believe it or not), it’s not about you. You see, as members of the human race, whether we admit it to ourselves or not, we think it’s all about us. Especially if you’re enthusiastic about your company and its products and all it has done for you, sharing that from your perspective is natural. The problem with that is, the person you’re talking to wants it to be about them!
As a direct seller, your most important job is building relationships. You do that through conversation and the best way to build a strong, positive relationship with another person is through supportive communication (which means they feel important and heard).
So why not make the conversation about them? Shift your focus to curiosity and away from asking for anything. If you’re curious, you’re bound to ask questions, which will lead the person with whom you’re talking to share.
And when you’re curious, when you make it all about them, your authenticity shines through. It’s impossible to be curious and listen to someone else if you’re not also being authentic. And believe me when I tell you, people can tell the difference between being truly listened to and talking to someone who’s just marking time waiting for their turn to talk. You know you can tell the difference.
When you shift your thinking to this perspective and you learn to authentically listen, you’ll find you magically begin to get everything you need. It’s a truly incredible phenomenon.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE FOR FREE IN PRINT OR ONLINE?
You may, as long as you do not alter it and include the following information (with active links as appropriate):
Julie Anne Jones is a success language consultant, a direct sales coach and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read more blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.
I agree with you! However, my 16 year old daughter says that me asking so many questions is being nosy! lol I don't listen to her!!!
Could not agree more, Terri. Listening is truly your strongest asset in our business!
This is a really great and inspiring post. I find that being yourself draws people to you. People will tell me things and say, "Oh, I really shouldn't be telling you but you're so easy to talk to". People know wether you are paying attention or not and because I truly like to know how people think and feel it makes it easy to listen and let them talk. When you talk just about yourself, most people don't stick around too long.
Julie, I love this topic, because I feel like although I've been authentic to a certain extent in the past, I am only now really just showing up as completely authentic and, most importantly, being ok with it. Before, I always stayed a pretty reserved because I thought that's what 'we do' as business people.
I have so much fun asking people questions about them. The things I have discovered about people have been amazing. And they are even more amazed that I even asked and listened.
My network has expanded, and I feel like I'm starting over in my business as a whole new person, the real me!
Thank you for the reminder, and thank you for being you!
Rock on!
Jhanna Dawson