How many of you have ever asked the question, “Would you like to book a party with me?” Every one of you, I’m sure. You’ve even been taught to use that question by your company. You’re taught to "ask everyone." Today, I’d like to talk about that question for a moment. Think about who that question is about. Not your potential host. It’s about you! Once you understand that, you can start getting out of yourselves and start making it about the other person.

What if you stopped asking and started offering? Can you imagine the shift if you went from asking for something (which is about you) to offering something? Having something offered to you makes you feel special. It makes you feel like the person offering cares about you. It’s impossible to convince someone you care about her with the question “Would you like to book a party with me?"

Here’s some language you might consider trying the next time you're tempted to ask for something:

  • “Sue, you were so much fun tonight! I cannot wait to come and spoil you and your friends with a party. I have no doubt you have to have fun friends! Should we look at February or March?”
     
  • “Renee, I want you as one of my February hosts! I cannot believe how much you added to the party tonight! You are fun! Let’s look at our schedules and see when we can get together.”
     
  • “Marilyn, I couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation earlier tonight and how completely busy you said you’ve been. I think you need a break, and I’d be absolutely honored if you would let me be the one to set it up for you. Let’s figure out when we can find a time to get you and your friends together.”
     
  • "Karen, look at your wish list! You love my products. I don't want you to have to pay for all of these. Tell you what, let’s set up a party so you can get a ton of these for free. Do you prefer a weeknight or a weekend?"

Notice that I almost always start out with acknowledgment. That’s important, because we as women aren’t acknowledged very often. Then a I find a way to support them or be of service to them based on something I knew about them. Finally, three of the above examples end with an open ended question (one which requires more than a yes or no answer and encourages conversation).

So, consider shifting from asking to offering at your next party and see what happens. At the very least, you'll end up in a conversation.

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Julie Anne Jones is a success language consultant, a direct sales coach and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read more blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.