"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care, for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or evil." ~Siddhartha Gotoma

Have you ever thought about how your language reflects upon you?

When you’re speaking to potential hosts and representatives, are you conscious of what you’re saying and how you’re saying it?

Does your language convey a “how can I support you” message or a “what’s in it for me?” message.

Knowing the answers to these questions and making changes in how you communicate can change your business…and your life. As a coach, I know that your language reveals your intention. In other words, the words you choose say a lot about you and what you want. And most of us, unconsciously, choose words that don’t support what we want.

Let me give you an example; suppose you want to invite one of your guests to host an event/party/show for you. You might ask the question “Would you like to book a party with me?” Now, ask yourself, “Who is that question about?” It’s about you, right? You haven’t given that potential host any indication that her needs or desires are important to you at all. So without realizing it, the words you’ve chosen have essentially guaranteed she’ll say “no” because there’s nothing in it for her.

As a direct seller, your most important job is building relationships. You do that through conversation. The best way to build a strong, positive relationship with another person is through supportive communication (which means they feel important and heard). So, what language are you using as your guests arrive in order to connect with them and begin to build that all-important relationship to which I'm referring?

If you’re like most direct sellers, you’ve been taught to open the casual conversation with a question. So far so good. Now, what question do you typically ask? Maybe, “Have you ever been to an ABC Company party before?” or “What’s your favorite ABC Company product?” Again, I want you to ask yourself, “Who are those questions about?” You, your company and your products, right?

Here’s a bombshell for you; the guests at your parties don’t come there just for your products. Think about it. Can’t they get your products either from a catalog order and/or from your website? Of course! So why are they there, that night, at that party? To have fun! To connect with the host and their friends! NOT to focus entirely on your products.

So why not make your question about them? That way, they feel valued by you and if you become a good listener, you learn some valuable information about them that might support you at the end of the evening in getting them to book an event or look at your opportunity.

The bottom line is, examining your language and making a conscious decision to choose words that communicate your desire to make it about the other person will always bring you what you need in the long run.

*Excerpted from my e-book “Powerful Language to Explode Your Direct Sales Business; 12 Scripts tell you Exactly What to Say to Get the Booking, Sales, and Sponsoring Results You’ve Always Dreamed of".

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Julie Anne Jones is direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific language and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read her weekly blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.